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sorceress secrets

in training

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bridgy witch


July 28th, 2008

simply put

bridgy witch
i need a whoremakeover lol. 

July 4th, 2008

it's funny

bridgy witch
this guy reads my other journal.dislikes me. but then says the thing he likes is i'm not christian. i kind of take it as a compliment. lol 

April 21st, 2008

feeling the shadow

i am out of mind with mediocrity. i know this is the calm before the tornado of success hits.now who did i want to be ? 

February 7th, 2008

i'm watching dress for success. and i don't agree with all their choices. of course being a satanic witch means bolder and brazen. at least to me. i listened to the satanic mass up to zeena's invocation. it relaxed me. and i had nightmares all night about my father. my happily at least foir me dead father.

all my issues probably stem from him. even down to my sexuality. instead of running to the first church to cleanse myself. i let my sexuality be pretty much what it is. so i fucked my father. or should i say he fucked me.. that was a long time ago. and iwhat is important is that  i have better more considerate lovers. who didn't damage myself essteem. i admit in my manic state last night. i couldn't believe i was ready to throw my man to the  wolves. it's like wake up and see the goddess i am. oh please just for once try to leave your misery. a lesson i need to. cr. is right. we comiserate.

it needs to stop. we have deep relationship and he is very special to me. but dman i need something we need something to  not be so bored..

as for my demon mate. heit hasn't formed yet. but i felt the energy present last night. i need my needs met. but i have this peroblem i don'tr know what i need or what. never have. well not exactly. i have accomplished a lot. but i want credit and attention. posisitve attention. by the way i suck at typing and don't really give a toss. this is a journal not a paper for school.

anyway. we'll see which witch wins.

early morning inspiration

bridgy witch
i awoke not too long ago after having violent revenge and sex fantasies. it was relaxing me. i'm not sure if i fell asleep. but i awoke  manic. not from a nightmare. so i read my new book bunny book. i felt it would be stereo typical. but i was surprised how much of it was a modern version of the satanic witch. written by women. basically it's the same old story sex sells. and beauty is pain but so worth it.  i have at times find it hard to be the sex vixxen i know i can be all the time. seriously do you think all women can? i think some do. i could go on and on about what i need to improve with my body. you see i haven't been kind to it. nor my mind for that matter. i wonder what's going onin the tides of the universe. my seven cats are chasing and running all around. manic like me. it's two in the morning and seriously hours ago i was fatigued and  depressed. now i feel inspiration. i guess i feell ike elaborating on myself. i live a fantasy. but not the one i chose for myself. i've seriously not been selfish enough. or disciplined enough. there are huge obstacles in my way. but i beleive at lest in my manic state that this can be over come. eventually. one thing i've learned is for me the best results take time. lot's of time. i've lived here in my home for almost a year and still barely budged a move on my place. i've convinced myself in this unfavourable fantasy i've just settled for  that i can't accomplish anything. and guess what i haven't. truth is i have accomplished many things. in secret. where you get no fame or attention for it. but i forget to realise that  the the things i think i want to accomplish take work. serious. determination and work. too much hollywood for a t.v baby like me. for instance i'm a bleach blonde. it takes work money sopecial shampoos. tools. and maintenence. same with all beauty regimens. but you only use the beauty as the accent to the brains. so where did my brains go? i turned my brain into mush. with wishing and not doing. i have no earthly idea how i would even change this pattern for my my older years. but this is a start. self-esteem. i simply put have dumbed myself down at others request. whenever i feel very closely aligned with my inner core people do not like my vibe. and i tend to get negativity. i care what people thinka nd am high maintenence. and it's time i should be treated with the maintennce i need. and want and demand. but only i can do it. let'ws be honest sexy bitch. you give to much. and maybe take a lot for granted. you are not happy in your relationship with your man. he is simply put there for you. a great quality. but her's the catch. if i start shining like the diamond i am.  will he try to dull it or fade away. and will that stop me from finding what i want. i don't have to decide anything today. but it's the truth. i'm not happy because i don't get what i want or need. and people tell me i don't have that right to get that.

so to deal with the needs of a mate that can give m what i need. i will follow antons advice. i will find a demon lover and mate. my mental husband or whatever. one worthy of respect. and who will treat me the way i wish to be treated. sounds easy. i'm sure ineed to do research. but i'm needing this very much.

also  rightnow i really rock and like me.


February 6th, 2008

many cos member would admit they are fetishists. i am no exception.

i've been putting together a bloodsports fetish scrabbook project. i like the amateur pics so much better than the fake blood thing.

i don't have a desire to bleed myself but i do have a desire to be extremeely personal with some young beauitufl woman ina very bloody and sexual way.

i got my bunny book. playboy is definately a family. but i think i'm too eclectic to join. i only want to admire it. it's not really a joke but it's a bit of cute attempt to usurp anton lavey's satanic witch. the former is so much more powerful even if a bit out of date.

i realised that i may mor mot join the cos. for awhile i wa wondering what do i have to offer them. theni realise what do they really have to offer me? the temple of the vampire seems a lot more interesting in their very expensive secfret way of joining. but they seem serious. right now who really cares.

i want to do what i want to do.

and that is tak a nap.

beauty sleep.

night night.

p.s. i want body sex. my mind sex is just satiating me. i'm not sure if i care. that's what dreams and demon lovers are for.


September 7th, 2007

hell has me

lets talk about me.yes me. yes yes that is enough now. i am very excited to read the satanic scriptures. i am going to preorder it. and there are few more new titles i am also interested in. 

this girly witch. feels so many things about herself. i removed an old trinket. my wedding ring to a man i was  involved with very personally for ten years.. i took off the wedding ring. and realised it was was wheni was forming into the idividual i am the one that always brings turmoil. i have sufferred sometimes for my path and opinions and lifestyles. but i don't feel sorry formyself. i realized what a gift i have and the  awareness i have gained about my own personal power. power exchanges seem to be high on the witches mind today.  an adult littlgurl satanist. she is being fashioned. a work of art. i am enjoying the facets of of the depth of my personality. understanding some of my social 'weaknesses because they aren't weaknesses. theya re strength. i am very inspired this year about learning about me and enjoying aging both mentalllyand physically. ia m a woman, child, temptress all femenine. powerfull even in alleged weakness. these quirks so labellled wrongly. these are me. adn my facets. and i am always growing. and it does make me stronger. my indulgeneces are very satisfying. and i feel a wall of thought on all the things i do and don't do. and why. exploring this puzzle amd mystery is definately not boring.

my image is evolving. i notice these days that no lady goes to a bar anymore wearing heels and a skirt. om my. your wearing a skirt?

yes siree in the beginning of my middle age and also my alg side. is the so many permutations of me. always rising and being remade or added on to. some things fade soem things grow more complex.

hail thyseelf perhaps i tell you some of the trouble my lust can get me in.

April 29th, 2007

tonight my thoughts are filled with women. i feel like dissecting the world of glamour. i have literally been mesmerized by it sine i was a child. i was a t.v baby. and i grew up watching old movies of betty grable and marilyn monroe. at the young age i felt i was more swept away into the fantasy. not knowing about the beauty and glamour involved. it even gave me a bit of a complex about my mother. there is this one picture i have of her. early seventies when glamour from the sixties was still there. she was a pale blonde. pale skinned blue eyed woman. i always saw these bombshells on t.v.. and noticed my mothers resemblance to them. i think it was then that i wanted to  to have her hair and eyes. ironically when i was older i found out that my mother wanted to look like bettie page. ironically she always wanted dark hair. i wanted the opposites. grass is greener syndrome. my father took a lot of care to defemenize my mother.  he really couldn't appreciate the bomshell he had found. i ronically my father also hated blondes. even though he married the most german woman you could ever see in a small townin idaho. anyway i digress. although this is a cathartic way for me to  express the racing thoughts in my head. i think of age fifteen. i came across some pictures of marilyn monroe. a young tragic girli knew in highschool decided to give me the gift of mm's pictures. i became mesmerized again. and suddenly i became obsessed with her. one of my fetishes is  platinum hair. it kind of amusing that to acheive that you have to  really fry your hair. but then styling products and curlers become dominant to the processed hair. and walla bomshell in the making. even if you have cotton candy hair. i loved betty grable and wish i had more of her movies. i think this will be an endeavor i will research. my small stint as a fetish model helped me appreciate the whole glamourized world. which leads me to  a real blonde who went dark. dita . yes her again. i know she'sw a bit hyped up. i know it fairly cloiche to adore her. but i must say that her world has totally been self created by her. i know the lies from the truth. the exageration of what would make her unique. but i do have to say her book the art of the teese is titally mesmerizing. her little tidbits are my favourite paqrt. i must say i coulod almost rank that book in the same place as the satanic witch. a  woman who has defiantely practiced the art of the compleat witch. i'm getting tired and i doubr i even said a smidgen of what i wanted to . but i will continue. i need my rest anyway. hyail  to the beauties.

October 2nd, 2005

at least the hair is right
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